Calling in “The One” by Katherine Woodward Thomas
Where to begin my reflections on ‘Calling in “The One”’? It’s just such a work of magnitude! It’s made such an impression upon me in all the richness of its ideas, the elegance and depth of the concepts and the clarity and beauty of the writing. It has radically changed my life. As a psychotherapist of 30 years standing, I have been amazed at the transformative power of this process. I love the capacity it affords me to deeply feel and reflect without getting over-identified with and sinking into old feelings and patterns. I love the positivity and empowerment, the feeling that I can do something about all these patterns and change the way I am and behave to open myself up to love and a richer and more fulfilling life in every aspect. Its effect has been global for me and has spread to my friends and colleagues through my infectious enthusiasm. Several of my friends have been practicum clients and I’m taking the meditation and intention processes into my other business too.
Conscious Uncoupling by Katherine Woodward Thomas
I love the way Katherine has applied the principles of “Calling in The One” to parting couples with the aim that they should be able to clear up any unfinished business between and go onto live unencumbered and in continuing warmth and respect for each other for the future. I love the “creed” at the end, how it details in ways that almost mirror the marriage vows, heartfelt good intentions, the welcomed learning, deep respect and enduring loving actions, with the goal being to preserve good from a relationship and take care of oneself and the other to reach as peaceful a conclusion as possible. I found myself wishing I had had this book when I parted from my ex-husband. I also felt heartened that we did manage to complete some of these processes from our own wisdom. I found myself reassured to know that this process does not have to be done within a couple but is also designed to be done with one half or the other.
The Power of Awareness by Neville Goddard
Having faith in a greater, holding, loving good is something a lot of us find quite difficult. I love that this book addresses that. That beautiful bit at the beginning, “Build the more stately mansions, oh my soul, As the swift seasons roll! Leave thy low-vaulted past! Let each new temple, nobler than the last, Shut thee from heaven with the dome more vast Till thou at length art free, Leaving thine outgrown shell by life’s unresting sea!” This book is a powerful contradiction of all of old limiting beliefs. I love the words “and your mind is always arranged in the image of all you believe and consent to as true”. These are awakening and astringent words. “Just as the moth and his desire to know the flame was willing to destroy himself, so must you in becoming a new person be willing to die for your present self. ” I have very much experienced that feeling of the chrysalis where all inside is changing. It is uplifting and affirming on every page! Takes me back to the days when I was truly a painter and living in my imagination. I had a sense of something greater, the music of the spheres, the healing evolution, the joy in beauty, the real thread of creativity and expression of myself and larger truths running through me.
A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis
I found this description of the formation of the brain beautifully simple and direct, easy to understand. I love the clarity and candidness with which they describe how the evolutionary development of the brain has taken place among mammals, how we learn and develop our deepest and long-running and unconscious perceptions. It’s at once chilling and exciting to me to have this elucidated so succinctly. I loved to read that we regulate each other in important ways both emotionally and as a consequence, physiologically. It gives me hope for us all evolving into more calm, hopeful and joyful selves. So much in this book grounds and gives solid credence to intuitive experience as inherent in and as a visceral function. Going through my own process of Calling in “The One”, I have felt a profound alteration in myself, like a chrysalis, all the internal chemistry moving and changing to create a new form. I have felt the holding structure of the principles and distinctions embodied and held by the coaching I received. The Calling in “The One” community personifies for me a patient, loving mother with permissive and healthy ambition for her children. It is a profound experience.
Deeper Dating by Ken Page
I felt inspired listening to Ken Page’s talk about Deeper Dating in discerning between attractions of desperation/deprivation and attractions of inspiration. He states the obvious which is so easy to overlook. His work feels companionable with “Calling In ‘The One'”. I like his ways of finding an authentic self and how my core gifts and core wounds interrelate. I love his concept of the Gift Zone and identify some of my own gift zone traits as care for others, sensitivity, warmth, playfulness, artistic and poetic sensibilities, capacity for entering rapture and joy. I love the lucidity with which he describes living in the protection zone and all the subtle mechanisms of avoidance, numbing and holding back that ultimately lead to depression, emptiness, isolation and despair. I recognise these old patterns in myself and can see the correlation between this and my “I am alone” false love identity.
What I value too is his suggestion of seeking support to take the journey through his book. For me the desire to turn away is profound. Somehow turning inwards to do the work makes me afraid of the isolation I felt when studying as a child where I had little support but a lot of pressure to do well. I welcome that he accentuates the need for compassionate understanding and kindness to oneself. I have also loved how beautifully and poetically he writes. Attached by Amir Levine MD and Rachel S.F. Heller MA I really love this book’s clear and practical analysis of attachment styles. It’s inspired a lot of reflection about both myself and the men I have chosen as partners over the years. I plan to do the questionnaires with my date so that we can discuss how we see our relationship. I think this in itself will give me more of an idea of each of our styles. I’ve really enjoyed the exercises and ideas about how to work through the different styles towards secure attachment. The chapters on effective communication and dealing with conflict constructively are particularly helpful too. I’m finding it opening out to my learning, giving me different information to work with, validating my thinking and feelings and giving me really practical tools to take care of both myself and my relationship.
Hold Me Tight by Dr Sue Johnson
I was inspired on opening this book just looking at the headings of the chapters. The book is filled with profoundly useful information and suggestions on how to create enduring emotional secure attachment. It’s obvious, when you see it written, that emotional connection and responsiveness are key. I loved her explanation of the triggers that set toxic patterns being triggered when one partner reaches for the other on an emotional level and the other does not respond with welcome. She reiterates the need for calm reflection and a response from a higher place rather than fast reaction from a false love identity.